Feeling the monotony of reading I, I, I, me, she, he, they in your sentences? Read on.

It’s easy to overburden readers with paragraphs where each sentence starts in “I,” or “we.”

As writers, we don’t pick it up as easily as our readers do (well, sometimes we do). It’s not fresh to us, but when it’s fresh to them, it’s noticeable in the worse way.

So, the question comes, “How do I avoid the overuse of pronouns?”

The answer is simple: apply my six universal themes to improve your writing.

Feel free to click the link and read them for detail, but for those of us who want to finish this post before starting another, these themes are: Combine sentences, delete actions or minutiae, keep the back story, add dialogue, add scenery, and change up the subject/verb.

These next examples will show you how each specific rule will break up monotony.

The stuff in red is the example we’re working with, and the stuff in blue is what we’re going to change it to.

*Combine sentences.

I often recommend combining sentences if they’re related enough and make sense.

She had a white vase that had pink roses. She put the vase on the counter.

She moved the white vase housing pink roses to the counter.

*Drop actions or minutiae.

He went to the garage before he went home and saw his girlfriend, then he pet the cat and rubbed the belly of the Buddha. When the kettle whistled, he pulled it from the stove and poured the water from it.

He went to the garage before going home to see his girlfriend. When the kettle whistled, he poured the water.

But STAHP!!! Pay attention to what you delete, because you HAVE to be careful about what you lose. What did we lose here? Possibly his religion, which would develop his character. Possibly the fact that he has a cat, which would be important to know if we later find out he’s allergic.

Let’s keep this example and work with it as we apply the next few rules. Then, let’s apply all of the rules at the end and see what these two sentences can become.

*Keep the back story

He went to the garage before he went home and saw his girlfriend, then he pet the cat and rubbed the belly of the Buddha. When the kettle whistled, he pulled it from the stove and poured the water from it.

He went to the garage before he went home to see his girlfriend—who’d moved in with him after a fight with her mother left her bruised and homeless. Bending to rub Buddha’s belly, he didn’t see the feisty cat he’d also inherited with Lorrie. When the kettle whistled, he pulled it from the stove and poured.

But DON’T stop here!

*Add dialogue somewhere

He went to the garage before he went home and saw his girlfriend, then he pet the cat and rubbed the belly of the Buddha. When the kettle whistled, he pulled it from the stove and poured the water from it.

He went to the garage before he went home. “Move cat,” he said to the animal mewing for his attention, and bent to rub the belly of the Buddha. “Babe, can you make me some tea?” he asked Lorrie.

“Sure thing,” she responded. And when the kettle whistled, he pulled it from the stove and poured water from it.

*Add scenery

He went to the garage before he went home and saw his girlfriend, then he pet the cat and rubbed the belly of the Buddha. When the kettle whistled, he pulled it from the stove and poured the water from it.

He went to Rey’s Garage with the hope that his silver BMW was finally fixed. Leaving empty handed, He slipped back behind the stiff-turning wheel of the clunker they’d loaned him and chugged home. He was followed by black exhaust fumes all the way.

As though the day couldn’t get any worse, he rubbed the belly of his bronze Buddha statue only to find that Spiffy—Lorrie’s cat—had also rubbed its stomach. He decided tea would calm him, and when the kettle whistled, he smiled a wry smile.

Still, notice we’re not addressing the subject of the sentence, so it still feels repetitive. This is where the last bit of advice comes in.

*Change up the subject/verb

He went to the garage before he went home and saw his girlfriend, then he pet the cat and rubbed the belly of the Buddha. When the kettle whistled, he pulled it from the stove and poured the water from it.

Roland stopped at the garage before going home, where his girlfriend waited patiently. The cat attempted to rub against his legs, but he sidestepped it in preference to rub the belly of the Buddha. Determined to at least have tea, Roland patiently waited until the kettle whistled and the hot water spilled from its spout.

*Let’s look at them all in action.

He went to the garage before he went home and saw his girlfriend, then he pet the cat and rubbed the belly of the Buddha. When the kettle whistled, he pulled it from the stove and poured the water from it.

Roland stopped at the grease pit Rey called a garage with the hope that his silver BMW’s tire had finally been changed.

“Nope, sorry.”

“How long does it take to change a tire?! You’ve had it a week!”

The man wearing oil-stained overalls only shrugged in response.

“I’m giving you until tomorrow, then I’m calling the police! And whichever mechanic licensing corporation gave you yours!”

Storming out empty handed, Roland slipped behind the stiff-turning wheel of the Ford Fiesta clunker they’d loaned him. Black exhaust fumes followed him all the way home.

The rust-ridden vehicle backfired as it pulled into the driveway before shutting off completely.

As if the day couldn’t get any worse, Roland rubbed the belly of his bronze Buddha statue only to find that Spiffy—Lorrie’s cat—had also rubbed its stomach.

I can’t believe I inherited a stupid cat when she moved in!

“Having a bad day?” Lorrie—still dressed in the negligee she’d worn to bed—asked as she knelt for the cat.

“You wouldn’t believe.”

“Tea?”

“Yes, please.”

Roland, however, couldn’t relax until he heard the high-pitched scream of the kettle in the kitchen, followed by the soft burbling of hot water racing from the spout.

As you can see, we’ve transformed a few clunky sentences into a scene that gives you a bit of characterization, the right amount of backstory, shows you how Roland’s day is going, gives insight to the relationship, etc. And avoids the monotony of clustered pronouns.

However, if you don’t want to add all this information and can’t sacrifice the words, then keeping it short and sweet, fewer and neat can be an equally excellent way to go. For a great example, please visit my post on voice, or my post on how to develop voice. It’s also a great resource on how to fix voice in a piece you’ve already written.

The first thing a reader is going to notice about a book is the voice. Don’t know what voice is? Click here.

Voice can range anywhere from so annoying, you want to take a hot poker to your eyes. Or it can be so beautiful, you get lost in it and never want to leave. Or, it can be somewhere in between.

Voice is one of the elements that makes it hard to put a book down. Or, that make it easy to throw a book away.

How do we develop it?

There are a few ways. These are some of mine.

1. Keep writing. Reread what you wrote a few weeks later, and whatever you realize is noisome, change. And apply that consciousness to your next piece.
2. Help others edit/critique. Helping others hone their craft will help you hone yours.
3. Read. For fun.
4. Read others’ critiques. It’ll help you see what readers look for.
5. Ask for help/opinions from someone who’s obsessed with books, or who has written them.

Right… but those things take TIME. What can I do NOW to fix what I already have?!

Very well. I’d first peep my post about Six Universal Themes to Improve Your Writing. That alone will help you develop voice. If you don’t have time to read it, then keep skimming this article (yeah, I know you’re skimming!) and look at the example, which implements all of the suggestions in the aforementioned article.

The six universal themes are important, so I’m just going to write them here. Combine sentences, delete actions or minutiae, keep the back story, add dialogue, add scenery, and change up the subject/verb. One more thing I’m going to add here is choose stronger words/images.

Moreover, bear in mind that readers want detail. Not too much, but if your readers are trying to fall into the main character’s world, they need to see what the MCs see and feel what the MCs feel.

Would you be affected more if you heard, “his eyes turned yellow,” or would you feel the doom of, “bright yellow replaced the whites of his eyes, as though the moon itself shone behind them”?

Let’s do an example.

He went to the bank, then he went to the store. He drove home, unlocked his door, and sat in his empty house. Then he walked to the fridge, where he retrieved old milk, except he didn’t know it was old until after he took the first sip because he’d already lost his sense of smell.

vs

Dean went to the bank before stopping at Heroes Market. After his lonely drive under the leaf-stripped trees glistening with ice, his keys turned in the lock of his front door. The fridge—empty like his house—was nearly as cold as the weather outside. Dean didn’t know the milk had turned until the first swig—for after a terrible accident three years ago, his nose no longer detected the stench of rotting food.

It’s eighteen more words, but do you feel like you get more from them? Isn’t it essentially saying the same thing? The voice paragraph isn’t perfect, but it’s a decent example.

Let’s end with another example.

I was at the edge of a forest and started to make my way in. The trees grew really close together. Many different kinds of trees grew in a small patch of area. It was darker in the woods than it was where I had stood just moments before. I didn’t want to go in, but I finally did. The leaves were dry and crunched under my feet. A bird made a noise that sounded like the beast who’d killed three teens. I can’t explain how I let my friends elect me as the one to go get the ball, but I regretted it.

vs

I stood at the edge of the darkened forest, peering inside. My body hesitated before squeezing between the pines and oaks. Their puny trunks twisted and writhed as they competed for space and sunlight. The dry leaves shattered under my shoe like glass. What sounded like The Necrofaire howled in the distance, hungry to kill again. Why did I let them talk me into believing this was a good idea?

Setting is one of the five elements of a story. To review the five elements of a story, click here.

Setting is an important part of a story. It lets your readers see the world the character lives in. It is extremely significant, but oftentimes overlooked. And when it isn’t overlooked, it’s sometimes overdone.

If your story takes place on another planet dissimilar to earth, describe it. If it takes place in a forest with plants not common across (your country), then describe them. But, very few people need to read the description of an oak. They’re big. They’re broad. Their trunks are often wide. Their leaves are distinctive. Pine trees? All right, there are many kinds, sure. Specify, that’s fine. Talk about the full, round needles that you make into tea. Or the flat needles you can’t consume. (Or, is it the other way around?)

You can talk about the surrounding imagery. The deep honking of a passing flock of Canadian geese. The slow-motion descent of bird poop, and the unsuspecting target of the gray-centered, white substance.

Show the weirdness, creepiness, quietness, cheeriness. But don’t let it be overwhelming, distracting, or overdone. If you say a forest, I’m thinking leaf-littered wood with a sun-filtering canopy. I don’t need to be told this in complete detail.

But, don’t leave your setting bare, ESPECIALLY not if it matters. Mention the crunching of leaves under someone’s foot, or feeling them crumble under your own. Don’t assume we know there’s a cemetery behind the church. Intrigue us.

Make use of specific imagery. Name the stores (and maybe even streets). Talk about the many potholes on the highway. The cops in their outdated Impalas.

And, don’t forget that TIME is integral to setting, too. We might be able to pick up that loose, flowing garments, arranged marriages, legal wife beatings, strong religious conviction and distinct gender roles is America ninety years ago. OR, it could be a rural town in present day Pakistan.

In all, setting encompasses where, when, diet, economy, community, social aspects, roles, society, laws, flora and fauna, pets, livestock…

Plot is the main chain-reaction (causal) series of events that create the core of a story. It can be driven by characters, or driven by action. However, unfocused writing can undercut even the strongest plot. Here are ways to help your plot shine.

*Don’t let voice thwart your plot.

A lot of times, people fall in love with pretty sentences. That’s good, I do, too. But, sometimes people only have pretty sentences: they don’t have anything HAPPENING. They can drag a simple sentence into paragraphs describing someone learning how to swim, focus on minutiae that are absolutely meaningless or don’t crop up later, and describe every single character that the reader will never encounter again.

*Use dialog if and only if it is pertinent to moving the story along or developing characters.

“How have you been doing?” “Oh, quite fine.” “That is good. I have been doing well, too.” “What a wonderful day. But I need to get back to my shopping. Have a wonderful day.”

Did you skim?

What have you gained? More importantly, what have your readers gained?

Note that dialogue is a powerful tool and can set a tone. If you show a character as being proper and cordial when he’s usually not, that simple dialog shows us that he’s respectful/mindful of certain people, he likes/fears the person he’s talking to, or he’s being fake.

*Find out what’s important to your story, and delete anything else that doesn’t matter.

I’m not saying don’t give your characters history or quirks. I’m saying, don’t focus so much on the history and quirks that you’ve got little (word count) room for plot. Don’t take five paragraphs to describe a weeping willow if that weeping willow never comes into play later. Use one paragraph. A strong image.

*Decide what happens, and make it powerful or significant.

Usually, there’s a beginning, a middle, and an ending. So, there should be five things happening. 1. The beginning. 2. The event that takes us from the beginning to the middle. 3. The middle. 4. The event that takes us from the middle to the end. 5. The end. Plug in what you want to happen for these five things, and then throw in a twist or two.

If you tell a story about a girl who goes to class; comes home; eats and sleeps, sure, that’s a story. But it’s boring not as engaging as it could be.

Now, have her set off for class (beginning). But, on the way there, these strange men try but fail to kidnap her (event to bring us to the middle). Realizing they’d followed her to class, she sets up a series of boobie traps (middle). Two of the guys are captured, and she tortures them for information (event to bring us to the end). After finding out they mistook her for someone they’re supposed to find and drag home, she eats and sighs at the long day (end). Plot twist: she offs them first, or, despite recognizing their target as her arch nemesis, she helps nemesis escape, or, she helps them find their target plot twist part two: even though their target is her best friend.

*Subplots are fine things in moderation.

What else happens on an individual level? The two MCs are fighting alongside each other in an epic space opera, but does MC 1 secretly hate MC 2, and plan a coup d’etat?

Subplots are fine things in moderation, but if everyone is working on something diabolical, and you’re trying to keep the word count around 80k, then the main plot will most likely suffer. Your focus will be on all of these little subplots.

However, IF your plot is all of these subplots, then pull it off well. It’ll be hard, but narratives where “everyone’s story intertwines” do exist (mosaic or ensemble casts, for example). It works if you know how to do it. And the only way to learn how is by practice in writing, reading and critiquing this style.

*Don’t sacrifice character development for a strong action sequence.

It’s nice to have a little bit of both. But, sometimes characters stay one dimensional because the writer focuses on the action or rushes the story along instead of taking a moment to introduce readers to the people who matter.

Note that a story CAN be strong, even with a simple plot. Or one with no sideplots (short stories, for example). It’s all about what the writer wishes to depict, and what the reader enjoys as entertainment.

In essence, strong plots can be buried under poor, verbose or unintentional writing. Figure out the chain reaction of events (whether internal or external) is the bones. Now add the meat, the fat and a sprinkle of salt. Quite importantly, whatever your characters do and say, let it be purposeful.

This is NOT a complete list of how to unbury a plot, but it should get you off to a good start. Happy writing!

Voice is an important element of a book. But what is even more so? The people IN the book.

First and foremost, you’ve got to write for yourself. If your character is naturally boring, simple, stupid, bothersome, loathsome, worrisome or noisome, that’s your decision. If your character is a chauvinist, that’s fine. If you’d hate your character in any other circumstance, that’s great, too. No one has to like your characters’ character.

Bear in mind, however, that while you write for yourself, if you want your story to be profitable, you’ve got to edit for your readers. Writing for yourself can equate to twenty pages of imagery and detail, but editing for your readers can equate to fifteen pages of the same story, while keeping all pertinent information intact.

What’s this got to do with your characters?

If a reader doesn’t like, can’t feel for, sympathize or fall in love with your characters, they’re going to stop reading. So, let’s work on helping you build some awesome characters.

Some writers create dossiers for their characters, giving them a name, age, birthday, job. A complete background, before the story is even written. I don’t exactly do that. I simply let the character build him/herself and write down the personal attributes as we go.

If you want to write a dossier first, feel free. If you want to fill that dossier as you go, that’s cool, too. If you don’t think some people’s job matters and choose not to specify, hey, it’s your character. Now, let’s get to the good stuff.

Characters have to be believable.

A character in your story is real. Therefore, it has to FEEL real. Do people ACTUALLY do or say that?

Take a horror movie, for example. When you watch a horror movie and the main character (or other supporting characters) make the dumbest mistakes, are you pleased, or annoyed?

It’s unbelievable. When most people run in the dark, they’re focusing on the ground in front of them, not staring behind themselves nearly the entire time.

S/he can be dense, but even the average ditz klutz practices common sense when fleeing.

Reading is much different than viewing, and readers are usually less willing to stay engaged.

Only use dialog that is believable, and if you use your characters to relay information to the reader, don’t make it obvious and DON’T use As You Know, Bob dialogue. Let’s do a quick example.

Regarding two siblings. “As you know, Mom left for a conference in New York. She won’t be back for three whole weeks.”

I would like to meet anyone who would say this to their sibling. People don’t state the obvious (OK, they do, but not in this manner), so your characters shouldn’t either. Highlight your dialog and read it independently of non-dialog. Does it make sense? Is it believable? Does it flow?

Characters SHOULD be consistent.

If he’s a shallow jerk now, why does he all of the sudden develop compassion for humanity, only to return to his jerk self tomorrow? If she’s a brilliant genius now (and even holds a Mensa card), how can she be dense the next day?

Characters should grow or develop.

Either we find out more about them (their likes, dislikes and history), or we watch their butterfly transformation into a better (or worse) human being. These things give your character dimension.

(Main) characters should be addictive.

If they’re not likable, they’ve got to be relatable. If they’re not relatable, they’ve got to be so despicable, we can’t help but love them. There’s got to be SOMETHING that draws us to them. And, bear in mind, narrators are characters, too.

Know. Your. Audience. Some may love the drama your characters bring. Some may have enough of their own and don’t want to add more. You can’t please everyone. But, at least as far as characters go, the main character MUST be believable, and contain a quality that is as addictive as chocolate-covered espresso beans. Yup. Exactly. Not everyone likes them, but enough do to sustain the market.

Know. Your. Audience. Some people would like to see strong heroes and heroines, or even a hero/heroine pair working together. Some people live for the villains.

Characters can be flawed.

After all, they’re (probably) human, too. They don’t always have to say the right thing (unless you want us to fall in love by what they say).

Use them like salt.

Spare your readers from characters who don’t bring real depth to the scene or add to the plot. This also means, don’t throw in 100 characters when all you need is 5. There’s a cashier, fine, but we don’t have to know about her past if we won’t ever see her again.

Characters are one of the five elements of a story, and impact it greatly. Whether that impact is positive or negative depends on how well they’re written and used.

What is voice?

Oh, dear goodness, a question that took me a year to figure out. Expecting a long post detailing voice at its finest? Don’t, because it’s simple. Voice is the way you say something. It can be dry, it can be engaging, it can be sharp, elegant, flat, overwritten…

Sometimes when people say “this lacks voice,” they mean “this lacks good/engaging voice.” Take a simple, he did, she did, and then say it using your own beautiful words.

An example was all I needed, so an example is almost all I’m going to give.

He called her to the house and gave her a ring.

Vs

“Marian,” his quavering voice reached out to her. There, in the middle of the darkness of night, bowed to one knee on the wet asphalt, he held open a red velvet box with a diamond ring nestled inside.

Let’s do another.

The phone rang.

Vs

The cacophonous screech of the ringer filled any silence that still lingered in the air.

All have voice, but one juxtaposes flat voice with good voice.

Voice is you (or your MC) on a platter—this is how you would talk, this is how your MC would talk (in first person or as narrator).

“Good” voice conveys ideas without making sentences overly simple and “possibly written by anyone.” It’s unique. This isn’t to say a manuscript can’t have simple sentences, it means that it shouldn’t be wholly comprised of them.

Flat voice can possibly be written by anyone and isn’t as engaging.

When you develop your voice, you’re crafting your style of storytelling with sentences that can’t be written by anyone else BUT you (or your character). It’s the style of writing a reader comes to expect when picking up your newest novel.

Good voice often paints a more vivid picture than dry or flat.

Voice defines the attitude or tone of a book.

Voice is also one of the 5 elements of a story.

As I continued writing more posts, six themes kept cropping up. I now consider these themes to be universal in honing crafts. These core themes are my own, and are not a rule in writing.

What are the six universal themes that can improve your writing? Why, I thought you’d never ask!

There are a few blog posts where these themes come into play, so please visit them if you get the chance (hyperlinked at the end).

Combine sentences. Sometimes two sentences work better as one.

Delete actions or minutiae. There’s no need to report every move a character makes. If you say he’s brushing his teeth, I’ll believe you. I’ll trust that he has toothpaste on a toothbrush and rinsed afterward.

Keep the backstory. Not all of it is evil. If that’s all you have in a story, the story may be weak because it lacks the action of physically seeing it. Backstory is (usually) tell, and tell plays a very integral role in stories. We don’t. Have. To see. Everything.

Add dialogue. Do you realize how much you can avoid saying/telling simply by using dialogue? Please consider this powerful tool. Dialogue can convey anger and other feelings, actions (put your hand down!), tension, time… so many things.

Add scenery. This also means, make it PERSONAL. Bring us into the world our character is in. Don’t say, he went to the store. Say, John walked past the rotating door at Mandarin’s Clothing, the only formal dress shop for men on a budget. Instead of saying flower, call it a rose. What are the birds doing? What song (if it matters) is playing on the radio? If they’re outdoors, what do they hear? What does it smell like? OH SNAP! I went there. Describe the bitter/sweet smell of conifers. Talk about the stickiness of the sap between your fingers, or the roughness of the bark.

Change up the subject/verb. Let someone else take the show. Or, stop using the verb “to go,” and use proceed, continued, arrived, left etc. Use strong verbs when you can.

“He let go of the sword, and it made a noise when it hit the floor.”

vs

“The sword slipped from his fingers and clattered on the ground.”

You will see these six universal themes in action in my future posts.

** six universal themes can be applied to critiquing, avoiding pronoun repetition, developing voice, and many other writing ideas.

Thinking about creating a writing group and don’t know how to give good feedback? These are just a few things you can do that should point you in the right direction.

Give the writer a chance—DON’T go into it with the plan to edit. Go into it with the intentions of a reader, and THEN edit. What does that mean? Read it over once, adding NO metaphorical red ink (unless there’s a grammar or spelling mistake, then highlight it, but don’t write). Then, read it a second time. As it was said to me by a professor I strongly value and respect—a person who has helped me become a better writer AND reader—“your author has written the piece a hundred times for you. Give them the respect of reading it at least twice.”

Why is this so important? When we go in, red ink blazing, we interrupt the story, so comprehension and cohesion are not there. The MC/narrator says things and we find it utterly impossible to link one paragraph with another because we’re too busy writing one of our own. Read it through first, and then decide if your mental opinions have changed by the end. Many of them will. If you don’t read it first, then many of them won’t. Why take ourselves out of the story and sell the writer short?

How can we edit properly if we go into it with an editorial perspective? Editors and critique partners aren’t reading their work, READERS are. So, to be an effective beta or critique partner, you have to play reader first, and then editor second. (Though, professional editors might skip step one and move to step two.)

Don’t look for things to change—look for what works and flag what doesn’t.

Be honest about what doesn’t work, but BALANCE it by saying what worked well. If something struck you in any way, or stuck with you (in a good way), share it. It’s not easy seeing a bunch of red—add some green.

Don’t say, confusing paragraphs, needs work. Explain. Support your stance. Paragraph 3 says the sky in the west was purple, but paragraph 6 says the sky was green… I was confused by *highlight line* and by____.

If you say something’s confusing or takes you out of the story, go the extra step if you have an idea that might make it work. Your writer needs the outside perspective. “Paragraph 3 says the sky in the west was purple, but paragraph 6 says the sky in the east was green. We don’t connect that paragraph 120 ties in the two, so, perhaps adding in The gravitational pulling of the planets created a polarizing effect, leaving the skies by Planet Chloron a green hue and Planet Purplon a violet hue.”

Avoid words like boring, stupid, dumb, lame, childish, infantile etc. Writing is extremely personal, therefore, critiques are, too. Use, “As a reader, I don’t need this paragraph.” “This takes me out of the story.” “This makes the character seem this way…” (which might be what the author is aiming for).

Along with that, feel free to advocate for the character. “I don’t feel the character would do this, he’d do this. If he does this, it’s hard for me to understand his motivation, and therefore feels forced.”

Ask the writer what kind of critique they’re looking for. Line by line? Overall what works, what doesn’t? Comprehensibility? Believability? Help on paring down a huge word count? Or just someone to say whether they enjoyed it? Tailor your feedback.

Above all, BE RESPECTFUL. Don’t hide behind, “Oh, I’m blunt.” “Oh, I call it like I see it.” You’re supposed to, but it’s all about tact. Your job is to help, and “being blunt” doesn’t equate to being rude or insensitive. While writers do need thick skin in general, when working with you as a partner, they don’t need thick skin as much as they need respect, understanding and to be able to trust you.

They’re opening themselves to becoming vulnerable with you, and if all you do is “give harsh feedback,” in an off-putting manner, you might not develop the kind of relationship you want with your partner. Ignoring human emotion and being insensitive with the way you relay your information—in the writer’s eye—says more about you than it does their work. They might even disregard everything you said, whether or not you were right. You’ve lost their trust, and wasted your time. The key words are tact, respect, compassion. You can be direct and honest, and even blunt, but don’t let it borderline rude. Ever. Need an example?

The great big tree had the largest apple anyone has ever seen and it was red as ever and it looked like the apple on snow white.

Rude: dude, this sentence is lame and immature.

Tactfully blunt: this is a run-on sentence, and an agent will notice. Try to avoid the overuse of adjectives, use stronger words, and perhaps, instead of making a reference to another’s work, take the opportunity to make this a reference to your own. For example: A burgundy apple hangs from the towering tree. If Guinness had a record, this one would break it.

If you “don’t have time to sugar coat” (and this is NOT sugarcoating), then perhaps critiquing someone’s work isn’t right for you at the moment. After all, they’ve spent hours perfecting the sentence, the least you could do is spend a few minutes showing them what went wrong.

Be precise. When someone tells me a sentence doesn’t work, I’d like to know how so because I want to fix it. I was particularly fond of some sentences that people suggested I cut.

One of the BIGGEST things a CP (critique partner) has to remember—characters don’t always reflect the opinion of the writer. I have disagreed with my characters before—almost to the point of writing them out. I have shaken my head at many things they’ve done. It’s a book. It’s fiction.

Going along with that (and this is the biggest thing), you don’t have to like characters’ character, or their decisions. Wait—a main character has to be the least bit intriguing, but it’s okay if they’re flawed. If the character is making poor decisions, horrible arguments and is all around undesirable, it’s not your job to give the character a pep talk, or to fix the character. The question isn’t, “would I hang out with this person, is this person a good person, how can I fix this person,” it’s, “does this character work? Within the context of the story, does this character fit in a unique way that adds dimension?” If the answer is yes, then the character is perfect.

Now, if an action doesn’t line up with the character, and throws the plot off too much (doesn’t fit with the book), by all means, call it out. MORE IMPORTANTLY, if a main character’s personality is too unlikable and the reader (you) disengages and doesn’t care about the MC, say so. I’ve had someone call mine out, and said person was right.

The list of suggestions goes on. And on. And on.

Main points?

Be sensitive, while honest. Take the time to read it before marking it in red. You don’t have to agree with a character’s decision, but does the character work? Give positive feedback, ESPECIALLY when something particularly strong strikes you. Be specific, and be respectful.

Check out six universal themes for more ideas to help your partner.

If any of you are like me, you’ve made some serious mistakes regarding queries. Burned some decent bridges—or at least—in your mind you did. Your query was so bad, you’ve changed your name just so no one would associate it with you.

We’ve all started somewhere, but writing is about evolving and changing and building and improving.

So, hopefully this post will help you avoid some mistakes I’ve made. These are not in any particular order, nor are they rigid, nor are they all inclusive (I may miss some sinful, SINFUL blunders).

1. Let someone else read your query before you send it out. No, not just one person, but a few. Trust me, your query may glitter, but it isn’t gold. It’s probably confusing as ever, poorly worded, clunky and… boring.

2. Take their suggestions and apply them—as long as you feel comfortable and agree.

3. Don’t write it in first person, unless you’re some smart alec that actually pulls it off. Most often, the agent will roll their eyes and call out, “NEXT!”

4. A query is NOT a synopsis. Okay, when I first started querying, NO ONE TOLD ME THIS. They referred to the query as being a synopsis, but they probably should have clarified to the newcomer who was wet behind the ears.

A synopsis is a small story about what happens in your book. Full detail. It has to be straightforward, expose all the details you think are exciting turns, and give away the ending. And, it has to make sense. A query, sometimes referred to as a synopsis, is actually a mini synopsis.

Some say it should cover the first fifty pages, some say it should cover up to the first major event. Basically, you present the protagonist, the antagonist, the conflict between them, and the stakes. But you DON’T reveal the end. Whatever you say, it has to be intriguing. I’ll repeat what’s already been said: pick up a book and read the back or inside cover. That’s a mini synopsis, and what your query could look like.

5. I tend to keep my standard query (mini synopsis, title-genre-word count, and bio) to 250 words, though sometimes I cheat and let it be nearly 300. This does not include my personalization part (Because of your tweet stating Y, I believe this will fit your MSWL). MSWL = ManuScript Wish List.

6. Keep the whole thing to about one page in length. (Celebrate if it’s shorter.)

7. Personalize, but keep the brown stuff off your nose.

8. Refer to agents by name. To avoid offending anyone, you can address agents as Dear First Name Last Name. I usually use first names. Some agents don’t mind, some say this is sinful, which is why it’s important to do your research. Addressing them by name is a lot better than, “dear agent,” or, “Dear Mr. Martinique,” when the name is Ryan, but the agent is a woman. I know a lot of girls who have “male” names, and the same vice-versa. If you’d prefer to use titles and the agent doesn’t have a web presence, visit the agency website: usually they’re listed (with a picture and pronouns in the bio).

9. Please Please PLEASE know who your target audience is. Sure, everyone will find your book intriguing and interesting, and will refer to it once or twice in their lifetime. Wait… your book’s name isn’t “Dictionary.” Oh, this changes everything. Then, no. Not everyone will crack open your book and enjoy it. Readers of hard sci-fi don’t always welcome whimsical fantasy. Readers of feminist or women’s fic won’t appreciate a cast of men and weak women.

10. I did this once, too. I was given advice that I went on, and queried my adult novel as… YA. Twice. I was told it was YA by someone I trusted. But said person, though an avid reader of YA, didn’t understand that YA has a lot to do with age of protagonists (13-18), whereas none of my characters were younger than 22. Yep, please know the genre. (And, to be fair, YA is more of a category than a genre.) YA = Young Adult

11. Add comparable titles if you want to, but don’t feel forced. You can also compare your style to other novelists, and even media (some agents are fine if you compare theme/setting to a film or show).

12. I’ve never done this because I honestly find it distasteful, but don’t say, my book is like this, but better. Describe how it’s different. Different doesn’t always mean better—and mature, well-seasoned writers never find the need of putting down someone else’s creative work. Especially when it’s been published, and the querying author is the 200th rejection in.

13. Be honest with yourself. While point number 2 is valid, you should give an honest ear to all advice, especially if it’s repeated. If 2 or more people are saying it’s confusing while you believe “not if you really think about it,” then that’s a warning you need not avoid.

However, it is your query, and you have to feel comfortable enough with it to present it. Don’t use someone else’s voice, ideas or terminology if you aren’t comfortable with them, but if there’s a more appropriate word choice (or less offensive one), then truly consider the exchange. And if you don’t, then also be willing to accept the chance that this may be why your query is rejected. (You think it’s clever, they think it’s confusing. You think it’s sophisticated, they think it’s loquacious sesquipedalia.) Be honest, admit if it’s not working, and don’t marry your words.

These elements are what you’d typically expect to find in a given story.

CHARACTER

These are the real people IN the story. This is also the narrator.

Since these are real people, some may suffer from depression, or make annoying jokes. Eat noisily or breathe from their mouth and pollute everyone’s air with their toxic breath. Some are perfect, but many are flawed.

There are a few types, but to sum up a few, there are main characters, supporting characters, limited-role characters, meaningless characters, and narrators. I’d also argue that animals and elements (lighting or anything personified) are characters. Cujo and Lassie. Or, artificial intelligence. Or conscious objects (think M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening or the TV series The River).

Click here to learn about developing characters.

PLOT

Ah, what a beautiful thing. This is the POINT of your book. The “why OH WHY is this person reading your book?” This isn’t the moral of the story. This IS the story.

More specifically, plot is the main chain-reaction (causal) series of events that create the core of a story. X happens, so Y happened, resulting in Z. It can be based on action/external movement (an initial scuffle leads to a fight, which leads to a battle, which results in the epic showdown), or it can be based on emotional/internal movement (a traumatic experience leads to emotional scars, which leads to substance abuse, which results in the fight to heal and get clean).

Note that if a random guy fist-fought the main character, but nothing ever came of it, then this is something that happened, but isn’t part of the plot since the absence of the scene wouldn’t affect the narrative in any meaningful or significant way.

Click here to learn about unburying your plot.

SETTING

Ah. This is the scenery. The world. The plants. *the people.* The sky. The point in time (decade, era, epoch). Society, culture, general diet, economy, laws. This is THE WORLD where the story happens.

Click here to learn about solidifying your setting.

THEME

This is the point where you answer, “What does it all mean, Basil?” It’s the moral, of the story. Feminism? Sexism? Racism? Bravery?

STYLE.

Ever been confused about voice? Still confused? This, my friend, is voice.

Style is the way you say things. The words you use, the verbs, adjectives. The way you structure your sentences, titles, chapters. Do you outright say it, or hint? Do you use filter words, or avoid them?

Click here for more information on what voice is, and click here to learn how to develop yours.